Life, I hate you. You can suck my balls.
Life, if you do suck my balls, I’ll still hate you, but I will put an asterisk next to your name:
Life*
*Sucks my balls.
Life, you’re just a standardized test, that goes on forever, which will never be scored.
Life, being alive isn’t an opportunity, it’s a punishment.
Life, I actually enjoyed that asterisk/sucks my balls thing, a little. Fuck you. You only hand out enough enjoyment to keep me alive, not let me like it.
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