Revelation about Attracting Money – Scientific Method May Bite Me (as long as it keeps leading to cool new engineering techniques and refrains from further fueling Apple’s crazed, subversive formation of the new world order, iGovernment — the helicopters are white, not black, silly crazy bearded smelly man)

In your own life, surely you’ve noticed that it’s easier to attract love when you give it first.  And, the person you gave love to is frequently not the person giving it back.  And love multiplies because we naturally love those who are loved by those we love.  We’re more open to it, at least.  So, you give some love to the lady behind the counter at the coffee shop, another customer in there notices, she opens up a conversation with you, you spend Thanksgiving at her house, and her family gives more love back.  You’ve turned a gift of love to one, to the reciprocal times 10.

I’m not going to look up reciprocal.  It sounds cool there and you’re going to think I’m smart as long as you don’t bother looking it up yourself.

The teachings of the Law of Attraction are sort of a secular adaptation of the very stuff you’ll hear on Sunday from time to time. I know such a thing is somewhat distasteful to those of us who want to practice Christianity in close approximation of our understanding from the Bible, but I think such a thing is a good start for those who simply will not consider their positions relative to the divine because they have some beef with religion, had a bad experience with a Christian when they were 10, or think they’re betraying science if they start believing in something that affords no physical evidence, no matter how great.

Scientific researchers propose hypotheses as explanations of phenomena, and design experimental studies to test these hypotheses via predictions which can be derived from them.

Hey Einstein: Ask ten of your colleagues to try it.  Oh wait, you don’t want to have wantons thrown at you.  Mustard can blind and scientists can only conduct science on things they can see.

Wait, can they see electrons?  Hell, an electron isn’t even an electron unless he looks at it.  If he’s blinded, then the whole universe might quite possibly come apart.

How did the universe come into being without an observer?  What forces the wave functions into particulate matter?  Come on Mr. Science Man, answer me this.

Oh, you better ask 20 of your colleagues to assist you.  10 of them thank their pillow and the other ten need to thank what they think is their pillow, but you’ve really replaced it with a placebo-llow… like one with inert filling material — the stuff that dreams are not made of.

If ten scientists feel ridiculous and ten don’t, then you’ve successfully demonstrated that scientists are idiots when it comes to the simple complexity of reality.

Heh.  Ok, the wave functions collapse when they interfere with the wave functions of other particles.  No “observer” is required to collapse the wave functions…  It wasn’t the looking by a human eye that caused the electron wave to create matter, it was the impact between the wave and the observation gear.  I know my physicist friend from high school (a really cool guy named Kevin) could explain it all really well.

But, I’m a guy who writes down bullshit and I thought that was wonderfully stinky for a few paragraphs there. If I had written than down just 1000 years ago…

Bite me.

You cannot find God when you already “know” he doesn’t exist.

Mr. Science Man, you can’t imagine how silly your position seems to those of us who don’t believe in God (we’re the people who know God).  Well, maybe you can by turning around your feelings about us, filtering out the malice, and then taking a close look at them before you tape them to your back.

I don’t believe in God, or gravity.  


But wait, I guess I believe in God in the same way my father believes in me (when I’m not being a nutball).  I know God exists because I know Him; and I believe he’s working for me and everyone else in the same way management makes sure the employees have what they need.  This Universe is an inverted pyramid.  To God, you are the most important thing and He’s here to help you have a good time.  He’s living through you.  The rest of it is all huge and pretty and powerful, but your are His glory and His light.

Class Action Lawsuit Against Those of Scientific Intolerance, Truncated Imaginations, and Distended, Inflamed Snobby-Bits:  We can’t prove our common experience to your satisfaction through science, but I think we can prove it in civil court to a jury of our peers.  You know, the same courts where you file your patent infringement cases? 

We the jury find that the preponderance of evidence, based solely on the eye, mind, and heartfelt testimony of 6 billion humans, to be in the favor of God and therefore award His people the sum of $1 plus attorney fees, may God have mercy on your textbooks.

God doesn’t punish textbooks, tadpoles, or people for believing in anything but Him.

Heck, worship your stainless steel — it doesn’t hurt His feelings, much.  He’s the six billion and first person who knows what you gave up to be right; sad, but wonderfully independent!!

Richard Dawkins says you’re a fool unless you’re buying the next round.  Then he withholds judgment until he finds the bottom of his pint.  Oh hell, you don’t even know Ted, you dumb-ass American.  Public schools, what a bargain!!  Under God?  Are you still under him tonight?  But the Earth is pointed the opposite way.  There is no “up” in the Universe. Fool.  Your good fortune can completely be attributed to your excellent education and the guidance of your parents, unless those parents sent you to public school or believe in God.  Fools believe in God and it’s always the fools who beget fools.  So, basically everything that chaps my ass is God’s fault and you’re helping Him.  Wait, he’s imaginary.  Damn it.

Congratulations!!  You win!!  You’re going to TED with Ted from the physics department.  I hope you don’t run into Joe, the philosophy fool.

All hail Richard Dawkins!!

When you’re dead, you’re going to kick yourself for turning down all that bliss and easy abundance, but God is going to tell you that you did a great job on your own and he admires you for what you accomplished.  

That’s what he told Hemingway!

We’re all in God’s path and He is in ours, but those who do not take a small leap of faith will usually not notice that someone invisible is standing on their feet.

I tried to get into God through the conventional channels when I was young and then again and again as I grew up, but I just couldn’t reconcile what I knew to be true about our past with what was condensed into the symbolism of the Bible.  

It didn’t help that I had people telling me it was all literally true.  It’s hard to take someone seriously who says everything was really created in six days, 5000 years ago, when you’re a kid who doesn’t yet have the ability to read between the lines because you really had not done much reading at all.  

My that was fun to write.  Jesus, did I just put in a personal note?  I broke the fourth plane.  Movie people.  Sheesh.  In a book you can write whatever the hell you want.  If they don’t like it, they can just take a joke downtown and see how Sammy likes it.  Sammy likes jokes.

KIDS: THIS CLIP IS RATED R — FROM PULP FICTION.  IF YOU’RE VERY YOUNG THEN THIS WILL BE SERIOUSLY DISTURBING.  ASK YOUR PARENTS BEFORE YOU WATCH IT.  

IF YOU WATCH IT, SAY THIS OUT LOUD THREE TIMES FIRST:


I WILL NEVER TRY WHITE DRUGS, POWDERS OR PILLS, THOSE NOT FROM THE DOCTOR NOR FOR MY ILLS.

Being “bored” is not an illness, it’s a weakness.  

Entertaining yourself takes practice, young Luke Skywalker.  


“But with the blast shield down, how am I going to entertain myself?”  


“Shut up, brat, and use your imagination.”  


Some of my best journeys were completed with my blast shield down because God is completely unseen by the eyes.

This incident was not just pulled out of writer-director Quentin Tarantino’s ass (until he put it there, eww).  


This sort of screw up between cocaine and heroin happens all the time… It’s happening right now, just a quick drive from your house.  Maybe it’s happening upstairs, I don’t know.  


Both drugs may kill you eventually, but mixing them up will kill you today.  🙁

Enough Drug Horror


Uma was saved by enjoying a nice stabbing to the heart by John Travolta with a large-bore, adrenaline pumping, hypordermic  needle.  Heck, I might trust John Travolta to fly an airplane, but I wouldn’t let him stab me in the heart, nor would I giggle while he tells me about his accomplishments through Scientology.

Don’t suck my brain out!!!!

[continuing from way back before I started lusting over Uma Thurman]

I also was ignoring the corrections Jesus Christ made to…

Wait, one more lusting time.  That’s rude.  Let me finish that thought for you, firstly.

[starting again from before when the lusting balked most blueish]

So who gets credit for Uma Thurman? I guess her parents did a complete genetic workup on each and every sperm and the egg.  Obviously, they selected the sperm that would have made the perfect compliment to the egg, resulting in this beauty who’s just two years younger than I am and one fantastic inch taller. Heck, her parents don’t even get credit for meeting one another. They also don’t get credit for their own DNA. I guess pure chance gets the credit. My eyes are the big winners in the universal casino where eventually bullshit walks given the proper conditions over billions of years. Uma Thurman was a given, a known quantity, just waiting for her moment, waiting for five Aces. If she wasn’t born in 1970, then she surely would  have been by the year of Our Lord, 2,171,970. Wait, the world is ending next year, right? I mean, the Mayans quit counting years at 2012. Look at the calendar in your checkbook. See that last year? The world REALLY ends on January 1st of the very next year. I suggest you party like you wish it was 1999. You still have a 1999 calendar, right? No? We didn’t exist, silly. You just think you remember it all.

I also was ignoring the corrections Jesus Christ made to the System of God in the New Testament because I just couldn’t get past Exodus, Numbers, and Joshua.

 I do believe I said out loud that any god that pulls that crap may simply smite me now because I’m not bowing no matter how terrible the imaginary threat.

I might have said suck my %4##$.  And, as usual, my balls were not $^(~3&.

I should have worked as a cipher officer (for the Nazis).

I’m No Christian

I’m sure by now anyone who’s read my stuff knows I’m not a Christian. I said a couple of years ago to one great Christian guy I know that I really loved Jesus Christ because his character is the closest approximation to God’s actual personality.

I mean, what’s the biggest irritation expressed about Christians by the conservative Right in the United States? That most Christians just will not fight back against the Left, eye for eye, tooth for tooth.

A real Christian would rather suffer a little Left-wing insanity than stoop to being ugly about it.  Well, until they come to pry the guns out of our cold, dead fingers.  Then we’re going to rise up!!!  And forget the whole thing because we would have quickly gotten on with Our Life.  We’ll see you soon, Pinko!!

A hardcore Christian during the Apocalypse will take a bullet in the head rather than renounce his loyalty to Jesus Christ.

I believe that the loyalty Christians feel to Him is really to a doppelganger for God himself.  With their faces, the human race communicates their most important information.  Every human on the planet smiles when they’re happy.

It’s hard to imagine the real God smiling because the real God doesn’t have a face.  That why you were born — to dream Him a face, to dream Him a heart.

Revelation

The last book of the Bible was written by Saint John, sometimes called the Book of the Revelation of Jesus Christ. Translation: This is very serious.

The prologue: 

The revelation from Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show his servants what must soon take place. He made it known by sending his angel to his servant John, who testifies to everything he saw—that is, the word of God and the testimony of Jesus Christ. Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near.

So John had a vision and he attributed it to Jesus Christ himself (via a messenger angel).

Those are serious words because John said so, and Christians take John at his word.  They do so because he wrote The Gospel According to John, called John.  NO!!  PSYCH!!!  No one knows who wrote down these words:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

The Book doesn’t actually disclose that it’s based on the testimony of John the Apostle, but that’s what the early Church assumed based on a claim of some up-and-up manGod-man-love, or beBROloving.

The phrase the disciple whom Jesus loved (Greek: ο μαθητης ον ηγαπα ο Ιησους, o mathētēs on ēgapa o Iēsous) or, in John 20:2, the Beloved Disciple (Greek: ον εφιλει ο Ιησους, on ephilei o Iēsous) is used five times in the Gospel of John,^[1] but in no other New Testament accounts of Jesus. John 21:24 claims that the Gospel of John is based on the written testimony of the “Beloved Disciple”.


Wow, lightning didn’t strike.  Of course, I’m not writing this in May.

Much of what is written in the Revelation will never happen that way.  It’s a warning, yes.  And it’s an end game, a climax, for humans that need a rockin’ story!!  🙂

Love you!!