I don’t like to add to the negativity in the world, but I thought i’d record that as of today i’ve given up and admit that any positive thoughts i’ve entertained have been artificial. I have never felt part of the world, with the exception of late 1996 and parts of 1997 – a time when I thought life couldn’t get any better – and I was right. Little Man, please don’t take this personally. The time I got to spend with you and your sister were the only distractions (besides fantasy) from the hell my life became, and continues to be. My last personal desire was to fall in love again, and that I have done. I have realized that business success will not make all well as this is still of the world, and I am not. I get everything I want, it seems, although the results are about as reliable as dealings with satan, and now I want death. Don’t worry, i’ll not cause it, but am confident that mediating on my exit will abide.
Life truly sucks and it’s too fucking long for my taste.
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