2014? Meh.

Goals for 2014:

1. Another haircut — this time, make it count.
2. Dish soap.
3. Do better job of acting like I’m not whining inside.
4. Figure out some way, some how, to have fun.

I do lots of things that don’t bring me joy.  I think that’s probably a mistake.  Although it’s not exactly obvious where and how to have fun.

My life is a bunch of trying not to let bad things get worse.  Life has gone beyond being just philosophically pointless.

Giving up on wanting to see my children was probably a bad idea, but it was becoming like hoping to win the lottery.  Actually, the lottery pays out way more often.

I am no longer one of my fans.  I’m not a contributor to my campaign.  I’m not one of my readers.  I’m friendly with me, but it’s all just common courtesy — sort of a public duty.

This has been a horrible weekend for several of my friends.  Parents dying.  Houses burning down.

Police in Kiev are shooting unarmed protesters.

I still play Quake…  yay… since 1996.. but I’m down to just trying to do at least as well as I used to do, but that doesn’t happen very often as my ability to focus just on the task, and keeping a quiet mind, has been lost somewhere.   I employed Quake to keep an eye on the functioning of my brain.  I can’t help but notice that my concentration is lacking.

I miss my babies.  People can’t be replaced.

I am a lazy, depressed sack of shit.  🙂

I’m spending WAY too much time alone.