Busted Bank: The Investigation

Last night, I attempted to purchase $4.25 + tax of popsicles using the debit method of my debit card and was denied.

Then I attempted the same purchase using the credit method of my debit card and was denied.

So, I walked the frozen confections back to their holding tank and launched an investigation into why my purchase was denied.

That investigation culminated, just 10 minutes ago (at about 10:30 am central daylight savings time), in a finding that was so shocking, that it shocked me down to my bones.

I have no money in my debit account.

But the fact that I had exactly NO MONEY fascinated me.

Yesterday I made this post on Facebook:

I think I had $32.75 in my debit account and like 12 $1 bills in my wallet or seven $1 bills or something…

Anyway, I went out.

I made some stops, I purchased some stuff, and I got some cash back from those debit purchases so I could buy beer at a seedy (but cute) little bar downtown called The Liars’ Club — which I visited a couple of years ago… so. I made purchases…

And they ended up sucking EXACTLY THE BALANCE OF THE ACCOUNT.

Friends, there’s is something great afoot.   My whole life is a series of wild, unlikely, things all lining up into one big proof of something great afoot WHICH YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE!!!!

My next post will deal with some of the issues raised by facts you might notice on these images.

Another fascinating fact: I DID NOT INTEND TO GET MONEY BACK at Walgreens, but the screen wouldn’t accept my pushing, so the cashier (googly-eyed) started pressing with the back of her pen on the screen and she ordered me $5 back… Which was okay, I didn’t even know they would do that.  So I put the $5 in my wallet.

Then I intentionally ordered $10 back from CVS… thinking the CASH was better in my wallet than on that card.  And, the second transaction at CVS for $21.91 was exactly the balance left on that card.

This is a miracle in my world.

This morning there is exactly zero $1 bills in my wallet (and no larger bills, either).

Do not be worried.  I am a professional (except I don’t get paid).