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| Kids in the Hall did this on television… from Canada I think. Somehow Canadians appear on television in the United States from time to time thanks to the magic of the Canadian Electromagnetic Comedy Dissemination System I don’t actually recognize this guy. I did see Kids in the Hall perform a stage show in Houston some years ago. It was one of the greatest nights of my life. I was there with a number of people who now will not speak to me. I’m a winner and Head Crushing and possibly-gay Canadians get the credit. Being gay’s okay as long as you’re really gay or you are female. Of course, I’m not as excited about real lesbians as I am about the “I kissed a girl and I liked it,” crowd. I can identify with that for I too kissed a girl and found that I really liked it. It was so pleasurable that I dare to mention it here today. My usual response to “I kissed a girl and I liked it” is “no shit.” I’m not sure why girls kiss us. I think I’m cool, but I wouldn’t kiss me in public. I accidentally kissed my knee once and was then renamed “The Stapler” by my wife. Lesbians are okay, they’re just not into me so much and I take it personally. I don’t understand why homophobes in movies beat up guys who accidentally hit on them. This practice doesn’t make any sense at all unless the gay guy tattoos “I’m not a man because some guy wanted to kiss me and I’m all about being a man who is not attractive to other men.” on your forehead. I’m not saying I support the idea but it makes more sense to beat up lesbians for not being into you than it does for beating up some guy for being into you. Of course, you can’t really beat someone into liking you. Shouting, “You’re going to have fun, damnit,” never makes a good evening. Oh wait, I get it — you can beat someone OUT of being into you in the same way that you can shout and suck all the fun out of the evening. |
Always popular with homophobic American children, Canadians made head crushing popular by throwing their kids into the hall.
You want to make a fortune?
Write iHeadCrusher for the iPhone and make a Droid version…
You point the camera at someone and then can use your little pinching gestures to shrink and crush their head.
The phone should then make a satisfying can crushing sound, play a recording of a Canadian saying “I’m crushing your head!,” or make a fart noise.
If it makes fart noises, you’re assured of making at least $40,000/mo from this thing.
That’s American dollars.
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