Heck, just visit this page and check out how Twitter talks about jobs at Twitter.
Click here. I dare you. (new window)
Ok, I’m not going to try to get a job anywhere. It seems weird and twisted and probably truly screwed up (if you’re related to me) and my excuse for all this nonsense is that I’m making it practically impossible to get a job and be comfortable doing the bidding of others.
I’m seriously disappointed that I’m not doing my own bidding and I’m in a life or death struggle, a game of chicken IF YOU MIGHT, to force my bidding hand.
But these west coast operations all sound so NICE. Gosh, these are team atmospheres where people make good money and have some fun and work with chicks and guys who understand even your geekiest jokes…
Here’s the recruiting BOREDOM that gets sent to my email box. Prepare yourself to be impressed with all the fantastic, corporate programming jargon lingo-isms.
Contacting you regarding active senior level .net requirements. We have architect and senior engineer roles some of which require hands on skills/proclivity others are centered around more traditional architecture and design activities. In addition to our architecture needs, we have needs for multiple senior developers. Key areas of focus are web and windows forms, web services, reporting services and superior SQL server skills.
These roles are located across the DFW metroplex.
Dude, you lost me when you used the term “roles.”
.Net (Infrastructure) Developer II
Our Dallas client has an immediate opening for a highly motivated candidate to join their team as a senior .net developer.
Responsibilities
• Write code or otherwise performs technical implementation work at an individual contributor level in accordance with project plans and deadlines
• Use independent judgment and skill to architect and design solutions based on requirements documents and/or other requirement input
• Execute using best practices in design, configuration, and coding techniques
• Perform appropriate unit testing to ensure deliverables are reasonably free of defects
• Utilizes Microsoft Solutions Framework and SDLC principles effectively
• Adds new PIMI relationships and tests to ensure they are working, maintains existing PIMI relations and handles Break/Fix
• Maintains SQL Blending application and database ensuring blends are assigned batch numbers, and supports Planners’ application which sends blends to blenders
• Administers and configures SharePoint Technologies
I would have to USE MY JUDGEMENT and SKILL to find SOLUTIONS based on the REQUIREMENTS??
I’m not going to look up what a PIMI relationship is. Ok, I tried the other day… it’s so obscure that Google couldn’t tell me before I started thinking about a snack.
Let’s do an A-B comparison.
A: “Write code or otherwise performs technical implementation work at an individual contributor level in accordance with project plans and deadlines”
B: “We want you to enjoy coming into work and have worked hard to create an environment that spawns productivity and happiness at our San Francisco headquarters.”
A: “Perform appropriate unit testing to ensure deliverables are reasonably free of defects”
B: “More than anything else, we believe that job satisfaction comes down to being able to do what you’re good at, while collaborating with other talented people on a shared mission. “
A:
What is that?? Is that one of those creepy highways over water that once you’re on you can’t stop or turn around??? It’s the very image of a corporate nightmare. The only thing that would make it worse would be someone in the back seat constantly saying “FYI” and “deliverables.”
B:
The whole recruiting thing seems to be an attempt by people who don’t understand programming to assure people who don’t understand programmers (but need them) that they might understand a little more about programming than they do.
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