It doesn’t matter if you achieve everything or nothing when you’re alone.
People try to tell you that God is always with you, so you’re never alone, God is always watching, hopefully you’re always fearing.
This “God Fearing” bullshit is really scary. People who believe in Old Testament wrath, but claim to be Christians, are really not paying attention. And people who aren’t paying attention are tools for other people…
“God Fearing” means you’ll shoot anyone your pastor tells you to shoot.
Naw… Most people use “God Fearing” without even thinking about it.
People don’t think things through.
There’s a movie, Pi, about a guy who is a number guy. He thinks everything can be understood by representing things and systems with numbers. He comes across a 216 digit number that drives him crazy. In the end, he cuts out the part of his brain that deals with numbers with a power drill and suddenly his stress is gone.
Perhaps not thinking things through is the way to live your life.
Let people tell you what God wants for you… Go get what God wants for you… Pay your taxes… Go to the movies, rated G, once a month… Have more babies than those other people you don’t trust.
Life is good.
Perhaps I’ve sucked all the wonder out of my universe.
OLED is a technology in which I’m interested for artistic reasons, but a short paragraph explaining how it’s done is enough to suck the wonder of it out from my head. I don’t get off on the itty bitty details. I don’t have to master the technology…. I just have to know it can be done.
Perhaps some people want to know what interactions are going on between the electrons and elements and stuff on the film… oh! The wonder!!!
I guess that’s why I don’t do anything. Once I figure out how to write something, then that’s good enough for me. I don’t have to prove to myself that I can do it. Maybe I don’t bother writing it in case I can’t prove to myself that I can do it. 🙂
My attention span is only about 3 months long… so actually, I probably can’t do anything important. There won’t be any books or massive computer applications… WOW, and 3 months is really pushing it.
I can probably write songs or blog on some topic… They’re short projects.
But I’m not going to.
I’m going to enjoy throwing everything I have away so that I have nothing… I’m considering chucking my ID into the dumpster, too.
I was saving this fucking old wallet I’ve had since before Little Man was born… It’s worn and torn… I used to say that I would always keep it as a reminder of how far I’d come…. but now it’s just depressing me.
Not having ID will ensure that I cannot get shelter. I like that idea.
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