The Universe Is Between Your Ears

Everything Repeats

This is just like 2008 when I knew I was going to be homeless with the exception that at that time I had never been homeless and didn’t know just how much it was going to suck. Oh sure, there was some fear of the unknown, but when you’re talking about the unknown you can inject a little hope. When you KNOW how shitty life is getting ready to become, then you KNOW how shitty your situation is… and when you’re making sure you do nothing about it, then you have to wonder why you’re bothering writing anything down about it.

Here near Shawnee there was a little girl who was raised locked in a closet. The authorities found out and took the little girl into their protective custody and found here a new home. Now a local judge is allowing her parents to visit her — the parents who locked her in a closet all the time.

I, however, am SO TOXIC, that I’m not allowed to send a fucking birthday card to my kids for fear that it might say something inside SO DAMAGING that they could grow up to be ax murderers or something like that. It makes NO SENSE AT ALL.

I didn’t actually DO ANYTHING to them…

But, if you lock your kid in a closet for years on end and don’t allow her to go to school and have her piss in a bottle… well, you’re redeemable — you can get back with your kid.

I, though, am so EVIL, SO TERRIBLE, that one fucking sentence just throws everything away.

Great job, #1 — you obviously are the genius of parental law. You got me to buy you a house, have children with you, and then turned a single statement on the phone to you into a complete ban on me.

After I give you everything of mine, you continue to complain that I didn’t give you enough.

Men: NEVER GIVE ANYTHING UP IN A DIVORCE.  TAKE YOUR HALF, THEN PAY FROM IT.

Comments

One response to “Everything Repeats”

  1. Eric Avatar
    Eric

    I hear you. I can't believe one statement did all that either. I think that no matter what you do or say, you should still be allowed to AT LEAST have visits with your kids. Even serial killers can have visit supervised by the authorities, right??

    I have been following you and pulling for you the whole time, Joe. You know everyone has. I think you know what you are up against in your brain and you know that you have a problem. I know a guy online that has been hearing voices (I am NOT saying this is your problem) since he was 8 medication has kept that in check. It doesn't work for everyone, and sometimes the situations at hand make it that much more difficult to keep things in check. I took part in a Family & Childrens Services work day where we fixed up a house for a guy who was going to lose it and had mental health issues.. and I felt like I actually did something that mattered that day because nobody in their right mind puts themselves in situations like that on purpose (if they do, they are not in their right mind..)

    I think you are in one of the tougher situations that there can be in this world, because some of the very problems you face are preventing you from being able to prevent the problems from surfacing again (chicken or the egg?) At least that is my take on it, 15 years removed. You are still here because there is something inside of you that will not fucking quit.. and even if that doesn't mean easily kept jobs and stability and whatever society thinks it should mean, SOMEWHERE out there is a person and/or a place that can help you do what you need to do to see your kids again. And no, I don't believe that is a place you can't leave.

    There is a brilliant mind, a caring person and a caring father in there who is at the whim of something my own father experienced (to a lesser degree) and you deserve to see light at the end of the tunnel, no matter what that light is. When did things go right.. why, and how?

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.